Angelene’s Story - 'I Am Enough'
Things were going great, me and my partner had been together just under two years. We were childhood sweethearts; we were both 18 with our first child on the way.
I AM ENOUGH
Things were going great, me and my partner had been together just under two years. We were childhood sweethearts; we were both 18 with our first child on the way.
My life changed when we had our daughter. We were so happy, things were amazing, we lived a really lovely life and had great friends around us that were a big part of our lives. We always had family get togethers, hosting dinner parties all the time, we loved cooking for everyone, always doing family days and life was really good. The three of us were happy for a long time.
We had our first son when our daughter was seven years old. I couldn’t have been happier in life, becoming a mummy was just magical. I lived and breathed my kids, but things had changed between me and him. He was taking painkillers, got sacked from his job. I supported us all and I just wanted to make everything better. It was really tough on us, and the cracks started to appear. We weren’t doing things we enjoyed anymore. He would go out with friends a lot, I didn’t mind, I was enjoying being a mummy.
Things were different and a few hours turned into being out all night. He started to accuse me of being unfaithful if I was out with friends and he would say I was cheating. I started to change but I never realised he chipped away at my confidence and my self-esteem. I stopped meeting up with friends, always making excuses as to why I couldn’t go out. I just thought that it would make him see that I loved him. I really wanted our wee family to be together and to show him that I was telling the truth. I cut my family out, I stopped taking their calls. I shut myself off from everyone and everything. I would only go out if I really needed to. I thought he would see that I only loved him and we would be happy again.
We found out that I was pregnant with another son. The trust was gone, I was so scared and alone. I was trying to keep my family together, trying to make us work when I found out that he was the one cheating on me. I was broken but forgave him thinking we would be happy, and everything would change for us as a family, but it only got worse. None of us were happy, he had changed nothing. He was being verbally and emotionally abusive and it was now mental torture. I didn’t know how to get away from him. I felt alone and very frightened. My heart was broken and so was I. I hated myself for allowing him to control me. I was so embarrassed and ashamed but hid everything well from the few people that were still in my life. When my youngest was a few weeks old, my world came crumbling around me. I got the news that my cousin had passed away suddenly. I took his passing really badly and so did my partner. They had gotten close over time and had become good friends. We were both grieving.
Everything changed the next time we argued. He was physical and our kids witnessed him attacking me. I left him but took him back after a few weeks. I thought he would change. Things were ok for a while. Then my sister rang early one morning to tell me my granny had died. The day of her funeral as I was about to leave the house to say my goodbyes my partner started a fight. Without warning he attacked me and said he would scar my face so no one would want me. Our kids witnessed the attack. I missed my granny’s funeral because my face was badly marked. That’s when my whole family found out about the abuse because I couldn’t hide the marks he left on my face. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. I had him arrested. I had the strength now never to take him back, now that our kids had seen what he had done.
It has been really tough these last five years. He has made life hell for his kids and me. Our daughter and I had to get a non-molestation order out on him as he came to the house many times. None of our kids want him in their lives. We are all protected by the non-molestation order, and we are all in a happy place. We have a long road before he is out of our lives for good. We have each other and are in a better place and taking everything a day at a time.